How do you calcultae a length of the day? Don't you feel some days are longer and some are smaller? Some of the nights when I lay down in my bed and think about what I did the whole day, it is so difficult to pin point where the whole day went.
For me if I am able to finish some of the things I wanted to do, it brings a sense of fulfilment. And much to my amazement these things can be really mundane or trivial but it just gives the pleasure of a productive day. Sometimes I can spend weeks or months avoiding something and spend countless hours worrying about those things. In reality if I set on doing those it is not so bad and doesn't really take much time.
Every time I finish my task list (well there is something about me, life without the task lists feels like life without purpose, I know I am pathetic :-), back to my stroy of task list. Finishing a Task list is always so delightful. I feel relaxed and feel a huge burden off my chest. But this ephemeral feeling soon is replaced with a quest of new task list. Is it because I can't really enjoy life and live care free or is it beacuse a regimentated life from early childhood forces me to seek out something to worry about.
I still miss those summer vacations where there was no school, no homework, no schuedle just plain long summer days to fill with imagination and unplanned activities. O life my dear life I wait for one more true summer vacation and I promise I will not waste it on anything productive, I will let it wither away slowly very slowly. I will sit on my porch with no computer or book I will just sit and watch the sun rising and sun setting far far away !
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